Some people bend over backwards at work. Others bend over backwards to get out of work.
These autumn days can wreak havoc on our immune systems, with temperatures flying up and down like my credit rating, leaving us feeling ill and sluggish more often than usual. Although we all feel duty-bound to our jobs – play along with me now – it’s important to rest in these times of sickness to prevent a worse problem down the road.
However, this means making that awkward phone call to work. Just by the nature of calling in sick you are instantly put under suspicion, even if you really are not feeling well. So, we all try to toss in that forced cough after every fourth word, which really ultimately makes us sound that much more suspicious.
Luckily, there is another way, which was recently indirectly brought to people’s attention by Twitter user Ushihito (@ushihito).
▼ “A friend who once told me, ‘When calling in sick to work, making a bridge [bending over backwards] while talking on the phone will give you a really strained voice’ recently became a mother. I hope her children grow up healthy.”
「仮病で会社を休むときは、ブリッジをしながら電話すると本当に辛そうな声が出るよ」と教えてくれた友達がお母さんになったようです。子供健やかに育ちますように。
—
牛人 (@ushihito) November 13, 2018
Although more a comment on her friend’s entering a new life, it was the advice itself that turned a lot of heads.
The logic makes sense. Putting your body in an uncomfortable position and exerting your strength will surely help to give your voice that needed element of authentic suffering. The only problem is “making the bridge.” Can normal people do that easily enough?
To find out we had Mr. Sato try to call in sick while bending over backwards, and recorded it. It’s in Japanese but I think the essence still comes through.
▼ Mr. Sato: “Ah…Bullo, um-ugghh, dooday I’m not beeling bery bell, and-ughhhhsssssorrry I need to ressssst urgh…Ohgay…”
Wow! It worked even better than we expected. While in the bridge position, Mr. Sato’s throat was stretched out giving it a swollen tone and thanks to the general discomfort his agony really shone through on the call.
Now, we have to stress that this powerful tool can only be used for good. This means you should only attempt the bridge call when you’re actually sick and you want to make sure that you sound exactly how you feel so as not to give your employer the wrong impression.
Performing this maneuver while not actually sick would be quite naughty. And while we here at SoraNews24 enjoy the occasional cheeky antic, and may even like to get saucy every once in a while, we firmly draw the line at naughtiness. It’s important to have standards.
Source: Twitter/@ushihito
Top image: SoraNews24
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