Can Mr. Sato succeed where an entire team of sexy bar hostesses failed?
Our crack reporter Mr. Sato has seen a lot in his pursuit of journalistic excellence. He’s cast his gaze upon the deliciousness of a 10,000-yen beef bento, the horror of Japan’s cave of death, and the beauty of an entire room of gorgeous spokesmodels.
But Mr. Sato’s eyes have seen so much that he needs corrective lenses, and recently he’s found himself drawn to Japanese eyeglass manufacturer Hazuki’s Loupe line. As a matter of fact, he’s thrown himself into his research on the glasses by watching their most recent commercial several times a day, paying extra close attention to the part where a team of sexy bar hostesses sits on them.
Convinced by that persuasive sales pitch, Mr. Sato decided to pick up a Hazuki Loupe pair for himself. In addition to being sold online, the glasses are available at major electronics retailers, so Mr. Sato took a quick walk from SoraNews24 headquarters to Bic Camera’s Biqlo branch in Tokyo’s Shinjuku neighborhood.
There are actually a couple different Hazuki Loupe models to choose from, and Mr. Sato went with a pair of Hazuki Lopue Large, which are designed to be worn over your existing glasses. The glasses are primarily marketed to office workers or other people who spend a lot of time looking at a computer monitor, as they cut down 35 percent of the display’s blue light and also provide a magnification function.
Mr. Sato opted for a pair of red frames fitted with 1,32-times magnification, which set him back 10,980 yen (US99). After opening the box, he found the glasses nestled inside a plastic case.
“Oh, I’ve finaly got my very own pair of Hazuki Loupes, just like I saw in the commercial,” murmured Mr. Sato, proving that he hadn’t just been looking at the hostesses’ butts.
▼ Said butts would now appear 1.32 times larger.
At just 18.3 grams (0.65 ounces) the glasses are extremely light, and surprisingly comfortable even when worn in conjunction with a pair of prescription glasses. Their open-at-the-temples design is supposed to make the frame more pliant, but Mr. Sato was going to put his Hazuki Loupes through the same rigorous durability testing as the commercial did.
Walking over to an uninhabited chair in the office, he removed his Hazuki Loupes and placed them on the seat.
Then he swiftly spun in place 180 degrees, and plopped himself down.
As his buttocks descended, he recalled how the product description said the Hazuki Loupes Large could withstand weight up to 70 kilograms (154 pounds). Since he weighs 65, Mr. Sato figured he should be OK, but his lightweight confidence disappeared when he let the weight of his backside settle into the seat…
…and heard a cracking sound that our Japanese coworkers reproduced as “baki!”
▼ Baki: The sound of Mr. Sato’s butt falling on eyeglasses, is a sound effect worthy of inclusion in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.
So is Hazuki Loupe as tough as the company claims, or is this another embarrassing episode of Mr. Sato’s backside destroying a part of our physical world? Let’s go to the video.
As you can see, despite the troubling “Baki!” as Mr. Sato sat down, the frame was unbent and the lenses unscratched. We’re still not sure how they can be so unscathed after making such a disconcerting noise, but maybe that was just the glasses screaming in terror as Mr. Sato’s posterior enveloped them in darkness and fleshy cheeks, but in any case, we can now say for sure that Japan’s sturdiest eyeglasses are more powerful than Mr. Sato’s crazy butt.
Photos ©SoraNews24
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